My Sweet "Littlest" Man

I'm not even sure where I start this. I'm writing this at 3:45am, awake, watching my little baby lay in a hospital bed on a ventilator, fighting a virus that for most of us wouldn't be more than a common cold. We've made a lot of progress since Saturday, but we aren't out of the woods yet. And I'm still terrified.

I want to go back to Christmas Day, when this was just a little cold and I could still hold him as much as I wanted. When he fell asleep on my husband's chest and gave us the best picture ever:


I can't stand seeing him like this. All these tubes, wires, and machines beeping day and night. I can't stand seeing his eyes closed. I love his eyes, they are so perfectly round, and normally wide open and curiously looking around(usually with a sideways stare in his big brother's direction as if to say "What on earth are you doing?")

I know there's a lot more I could be writing, should be writing right now, but for now this is all I can get out before the tears start. Besides, if I hurry, I can get in an hour or so sleep before my evil alarm goes off again reminding me its time to pump.

Fabric, fabric, and more fabric!

I did something I wasn't supposed to yesterday. I cleaned. Not a LOT, I just cleaned out/reorganized our Harry Potter closet and one section of our garage, but I couldn't stand it anymore. I promised myself that I would rest all day today and not get up unless 100% necessary to make up for it.

The closet has unfortunately become our "dumping ground" for anything we don't have room for anywhere else. It is also our pantry, and before I cleaned it, you couldn't even walk into the closet to get something that wasn't on the shelf in the front. It was bad. It's still not perfect, and won't be until I can convince my hubby with hoarding tendencies that we don't NEED half of the stuff he refuses to let go of, but it's at least an improvement.

On to the fabric story. 2 years ago, I decided I wanted to learn to sew. I asked for a sewing machine for Christmas, and I was convinced that I could teach myself. I was sadly mistaken. I got frustrated and gave up halfway through making a carrier for Little Man. My sewing machine now sits in the back of the HP closet, and next to it was a bag of fabric and what I thought was just other bags of miscellaneous craft supplies.

My mom has always been good at sewing, and made every single Halloween costume for my brother and I until we were too old, but if you know her, she is not shy about how much she hates it. My brother and I used to walk on eggshells the entire month of October because we knew how cranky she was going to be, but she did it out of love for us. I'm pretty sure there may have been some threats about "No Christmas" during those hell months over the years, but she must not have ever told Santa, and the threat was usually enough to make us stop fighting. But I digress. Even as much as she hates sewing, she has offered to teach me how to use my sewing machine so that I can finish all of the projects I posted about before. Have I mentioned lately how awesome my mom is?

Anyway, in true ADD fashion, here is what I found when I went through my craft supplies:

I also found some fleece for a sleep sack pinned to a pattern and cut out, but of course, never finished. I think there is a possibility I'm a fabric hoarder. Hopefully, I can change this with a little help from my mom in the next few weeks.

Anyone need any baby items????

Getting Crafty...oh look, squirrel!

Anyone who has known me for any length of time has probably figured out 2 things about me: A) When I say I have ADHD, I mean it, and B) As much I want to be Martha Stewart, my craft attempts typically wind up looking like my toddler made them. At the moment, I have at least 6 half-way finished projects stuck in various closets in my house that at one time, I had every intention of completing, but I gave up and waited for a chance to have someone help me, and then forgot I needed to ask anyone for help. It's a vicious cycle. So I've made it a goal that while I am stuck here at home, I'm going to complete those projects, plus a few more for gifts that I'm dying to give. I'm letting this blog serve as my accountability for that, and adding them to my "official" to-do list.

I'm going to try one project a week, and hopefully have them all completed well before my little Bug makes his debut.

• Mei-Tei Carrier(I actually started this when Little Man was a baby-maybe now I'll actually get to use it!)

• Shopping Cart Cover(I have the fabric for 3 of these, I would like to get them all made for myself and for gifts)

• Restaining this shadow box, thanks to instructions and supplies from my amazingly crafty friend Shana(see her handiwork over on The 3 Boy Home)

• Finishing up my surprise gifts for some good friends-I don't want to give away the details, I will be posting pics/tutorials once they have them though. :)

In the meantime, I'll try to let everyone in on what has(and hasn't) worked for me when it comes to being a mom with ADHD, even though it still feels like 1 step forward, 2 steps back most days.

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