I'm Back! For real.

I decided I might as well do something productive since I am stuck on the couch for the forseeable future(or at least the next 4 months). So far Luke is proving to be as stubborn as independent as his daddy and big brother, so it's going to take a lot of prayer, and an annoying amount of rest, to keep him cooking for a few more months. Ugh! I am SO not good at laying down and doing nothing. Thankfully, my mom is here, and due to an unfortunate accident involving a toilet in the apartment above her, staying with us for the next few weeks. I can always count on her to take care of me! She came home from a Target run today and made me an ultra-comfy bed on my couch:

Now at least I won't be miserable since I can only go upstairs once a day! Now if I could just find a tray or table of some kind to keep my giant glasses of water I'm downing in an attempt to keep the contractions away(it's not helping), I'd be set!

We find out tomorrow afternoon if I am going to need to get a cerclage. I'm not sure which way I'm hoping it goes. On one hand, I feel like the cerclage would give me some reassurance when I'm having all of "irritability" as the nurse called my lighter contractions Friday night. But if they say I don't need one, it means that all of the contractions over the last week haven't been productive and nothing has changed, which would be a good thing. Plus, my perinatologist said they would be giving me an epidural, and given my last experience with one, I'm not too confident in its ability to stop me from feeling what's happening.

On a happy note, my BFF will be here Wednesday night!!!

I am SO excited to her see and her awesome kiddos for 4 whole days! This pic is from the last time we saw each other, before Lane was even here. One of the upsides to living in Vegas is everyone wants to drive through or fly through here to see you. :)

I had a direction I wanted to go with all of this, but totally lost it. My mom's spaghetti just smells too yummy. With that, I'm going to go eat some dinner. Maybe I'll remember what I wanted to say eventually. Or not.

Pandora

I know, it's been a year since I last posted. I've let life, a job, a million other things get in the way. But I need to do this for me. And for any other woman who MIGHT read this someday, and be going through this, and think "THAT is what I needed to hear."

I'm not normally a cheesy, "lovey-dovey" person when it comes to my marriage, especially on the Internet. But right now, all I want is my husband. I need him to hold me, and Lane, and remind me that even though this is worse than it was 2 years ago, we have an amazing team of doctors, and a handsome, smart, and hysterically stubborn 2 year old son who has proven that our kids are fighters. Because right now, that's so hard for me to remember.

Of course, he's at work, so he can't. And can't really talk much either. So I'm stuck on a couch, in a house that's quieter than anywhere I've been in the last 2 years, and I have Pandora on just for background noise so I don't crazy and start hearing things.

I love Pandora. My brother got me hooked on it years ago before anyone even talked about it, and I honestly think it's one of the best inventions since Facebook. It never fails that whatever station it happens to be on at any point in time, there will be a song I need to hear. Lately, it's this one:

You and Me
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

For anyone who wasn't at our wedding, this was my processional. It seems that lately, when I feel like falling apart, this song ALWAYS comes on, and I'm back in that moment. And he's staring at me, and I know that no matter how many ups and downs we may have had, this is us. And we will get through this.

Whole Foods Trip-They make that?!?!?

I had to take Lane to get allergy testing done this morning. We are fairly certain it is a dairy allergy(with possibly soy sensitivity as well), but the dr is checking for everything just to be sure. On our way out the door, I realized we were out of his milk, so after the blood draw, I decided to stop in Whole Foods and check it out. I wanted to get some almond milk to try him on anyways, since we know for sure he isn't allergic to nuts.

First off, that store smells AMAZING!!! I could spend hours in there standing by the smokehouse section! But, what was most amazing to me was the huge selection. Am I the only person in the world who didn't know there were options for yogurt?!? I honestly thought there was NO way we were going to find a subsitute for yogurt(which Lane loves) if it turns out to be a dairy allergy. I was so wrong! They have soy yogurt, coconut milk yogurt, even almond milk yogurt!

I also fell in love with their salad bar. Too often, I buy veggies and produce for dinner, only need about half of what I bought(even if I buy the smallest quanity I can) and the rest goes to waste. So frustrating! I was able to fill a take-out container with just enough peppers and onions for tonights fajitas, and the prep work was already done!

Although it is definitely more expensive, I feel better knowing we have a LOT of options, whatever Lane's allergies turn out to be, and I also feel better knowing that our family is getting healthier, less processed foods.